Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
