dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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