just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
