I want to stick my p in your. b.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She's the barista slut.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
