Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
