there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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