i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
