I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
