Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize