So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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