Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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