I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize