It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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