Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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