I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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