Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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