dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
