I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
