Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
