All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
