There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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