I wanna bring you to show and tell
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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