Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
