If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
