Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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