this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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