i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
