Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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