so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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