dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
