Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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