Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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