it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
