Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
