I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
