so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
did i walk over a car last night?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
