yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
