So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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