Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
