Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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