Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
a search helicopter?!
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
