Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
