I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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