Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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