Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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