so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
