how can u be prego again
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
