If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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