My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
