So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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