well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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