they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
