K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
