i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
