once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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