There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
