she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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