is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
