She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize